The zombies are relentless. Just because I'm different—not a zombie—they feel they have to eat my brains. If you ask me, that's not very kind.

Everybody has a right to the life they choose. Take this mail-carrying turtle, for instance. I bet his turtle buddies mock him all the time. How horribly cruel!

Me, I just want to relax and enjoy the beach. Unfortunately, the serene surroundings are constantly being interrupted by some zombie crying out for his "brrraaaaaaainns!"

I just can't take much more of this. Food supplies are running low too. Hardly any drinkable water either.


P.S. Send help.